Shell
by jakeskatie
Summary: Fiona's drinking problem finally takes it's toll. ONE-SHOT.


Fiona looked at the sleeping body next to her.

_You don't want me. Face it Fiona, you want a girl._

Adam's words were stuck in her head. They were like one of those crappy '90s pop songs. Once you heard it, it was in your head for days.

Fiona slowly moved the covers off of herself and got out of bed.

She tip-toed to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. She looked like a mess. She was just a shell of herself. She didn't even recognize the girl in the mirror anymore.

"Fiona?"

Fiona saw Holly J appear in the mirror. She looked confused.

"Fiona? What…What happened last night?"

Fiona closed her eyes as it all came rushing back

"_We're over." Holly J cried. "I fell in love with him and I wasn't supposed to."_

_Fiona hugged her best friend. "It's okay. It's going to be okay." she slurred._

_Holly J pushed herself away a little. "Fiona, are you drunk?"_

_Fiona just laughed._

"Fiona?" Holly J asked again. "Are you okay?"

Fiona held in tears. "You were upset."

_Fiona passed Holly J another drink. _

"_I don't want anymore." she protested._

"_It'll make everything go away. No more pain." Fiona promised._

_Holly J took the drink and chugged it down. She then hiccupped. "I think I'm drunk." she giggled._

Holly J met her best friends eyes in the mirror. "I was upset over Sav. And we drank." she said trying to fill in the pieces.

Fiona nodded. She tried to steady her breath.

_Fiona crashed her lips against Holly J's. _

"_What are you doing?" Holly J slurred, though she didn't seem upset._

"_I love you." Fiona whispered crashing their lips together again. She then moved closer so that she was almost on top of her. She pressed their bodies together. Every inch of her skin felt hot._

"_I love you too." Holly J replied, moving her lips to Fiona's neck._

_Fiona let out a soft moan and moved her hands to the hem of Holly J's shirt._

"We had sex." Holly J whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

Fiona squeezed her eyes shut. She was just trying to block out everything. Her head was buzzing and she felt all floaty. She grabbed her water bottle that was sitting on the bathroom sink. She opened it up to smell it. It was still filled with alcohol. She chugged.

"Fiona, _stop_." Holly J pleaded.

Fiona threw the water bottle down and started crying.

"Holly J. I'm a lesbian! Why do you think I'm so attached to you! I _want_ you." Fiona yelled.

Holly J's eyes filled with panic. "What?"

Fiona laughed humorlessly. "Adam made it clear. I mean, he was born a girl but he's like a dude. So I don't want him. I want a girl, he told me. I WANT _YOU_." Fiona screamed. She then wobbled on her feet before grabbing the edge of the bathroom sink to steady herself.

"Are you okay?" Holly J asked concerned walking over to her best friend. She place a hand on the small of her back before Fiona collapsed in her arms.

~~o0o~~

"Where am I?" Fiona asked, looking around at the plain white walls.

"You're in the hospital." The voice sounded familiar to her. She turned her head towards the voice to see Adam sitting in the corner.

"How did I get here?" she asked. Her voice sounded unfamiliar to her.

"You passed out." Holly J answer. Fiona turned her head to see the girl sitting in a chair on the other side of her bed. "Fiona, you had to get your stomach pumped. You drank so much you could've died."

Fiona closed her eyes slowly, trying to block out all the pain.

"Maybe I wanted to." she whispered.

"Don't say that!" she heard Adam saying. He sounded concerned.

"I thought you hated me." Fiona said, looking up at the ceiling trying to avoid eye contact with him.

He walked over to her. "I could never hate you." he spoke as he tucked a piece of her hair behind on of her ears. She finally allowed her eyes to meet his. He looked so vulnerable and sad.

"Do you hate me?" Fiona asked as she looked over to her best friend.

"Of course not." Holly J smiled. "But, you need to get better Fiona. Yesterday was scary. _You_ scared me."

"I'm sorry." Fiona whispered, tears running down her cheeks. "I just. I don't know who I am anymore. I lost myself. What if I'm gone forever?"

Holly J smiled and grabbed the other girls hand. "Fiona, you're not gone. You're just…lost. But I'll help find you. I promise."

"Me too." Adam spoke up. "I mean, I'm here for you. If you want."

Fiona smiled up at him. "I want. And I'm sorry. To the both of you."

Holly J squeezed her hand. "I love you Fi."

"I love you too, Holly J."

"And I love you." Adam said carefully. Fiona looked at him and noticed his cheeks turned a deep red.

Holly J squeezed her hand when she didn't answer him immediately.

"I love you too, Adam. Maybe not in the way you want…or maybe I do. I just..need time. To get better."

Adam nodded and smiled.

"So, you're not in love with me?" Holly J asked with mock offense.

Fiona laughed and rolled her eyes. "I want you in the fam and all but not _that _much."

The trio laughed.

For the first time in a long time, Fiona didn't feel like a shell. She felt like, deep down, there was maybe something there. She was finally starting to feel a little bit whole again.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This did not turn out as I planned. It started out as a Holly J/Fiona fic but the Fadam shipper in me took over. I might try to write some legit Holliona fic in the future.

Reviews are always nice. :D

Sidenote: IF YOU READ MY OTHER STUFF I AM REALLY SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED YET. absence makes the heart grow fonder? lol. again, sorrrryyyy! feel free to throw stones at me.


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